About Me

“If you like water, you already like 72 percent of me.”

“I’ll treat you the way Kanye treats Kanye.”

“I know all the words to ‘Butterfly’ by ‘Crazy Town’.”

“I can make a better sandwich than you.”

“I really like movies with spaceships in them.”

“Just looking for a cute girl to grab a drink and some cheesy fries with.”

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